This step is about committing ourselves to growth and recovery and recommitting to honoring our own hearts, minds, bodies and values — over our eating disorders. In many 12 step programs, taking the first step often means writing a history of our illnesses – when they started, what form they took, and their consequences. The consequences can be internal or external: health crises, lost jobs, isolation, loss of identity. They can also include the things we DON’T do or try because of our eating disorders. Maybe we have never lost a job because of our eating disorder but we have stayed stuck in a bad job because we knew that job gave us the time to use behaviors. Maybe we didn’t lose a romantic relationship but we never tried to date or explore our sexuality in a healthy way. The goal of reflecting on consequences isn’t to shame ourselves. Instead, we strive to be both honest and non-judgemental, offering ourselves and each other our compassion and hope.  

There are two potential journaling/art/reflection prompts tonight:

The first is backwards looking: list the negative consequences of your eating disorder from its start until tonight. Consider physical, social, emotional and spiritual consequences. What did you lose? What did you miss out on? What actions did you take that you otherwise wouldn’t have taken? 

The second prompt is forward looking: Consider what you WILL LOSE if you stay in your eating disorders. First, write about what your life will look like in 5 or 10 years if you stay in your eating disorder. Then, write about what your life COULD look like in 5 or 10 years if you pursue recovery. 

Many Roads is a peer support group for people who want to recover from their eating disorders. We have free, virtual online meetings. We take an expansive, feminist, lgbtqia+ affirming, trauma informed approach to the 12 steps. For more information, www.manyroadsedrecovery.com.